new contacts. randomness

So I got new contacts yesterday and they told me at walmart, when i got my eyes checked, they told me like seven times NOT to sleep in the new contacts . and here i sit, this morning, rubbing my eyes like a bitch because they itch HAHA. oh well, i shoulda listened, or went to bed earlier or not stayed on the phone so late. i dunno idc they dont hurt too bad, i might take em out tonight haha.



I wish people would read this without me having to ask them if thye have read it or not. Dark used to read mine all the time and i hers. kj has too much of a blog to read and its all about fob and it kinda gets old , not much about her. sarah doesnt update hers anymore she said. and ashleys, i dunno what is on hers anymore.

So i missed a piss test the other week and they sent me a letter that said i had to meet with them within like 7 days before the letter even got to my house or they would take me back to jail. so everyone keep me in your thoughts today when i go up there, i've already had too much jail time.
No one is ever going to read this unless i send a message on yahoo or something. i wish that shooting stars worked. i have wished on three seperate shooting stars this month alone and it not only didnt work, it went the totally opposite direction. I don't have a heart anymore. so take what u can get out of my friendship, thats all thats left of me.


Love Always
~TriggleStick~

Notebook Entry.

Dear Notebook, It's me again. I'm in love, deep deep love. The kind that when your eyes meet you can just tell, the way she holds my hand. When she kisses me fireworks explode in my mind, my eyes roll back and my palms get sweaty. As soon as her car starts and pulls out of the drive, my eyes water, and I miss her all over again. She is always on my mind and I'm always telling someone how much I miss her. I'm crying now, just wondering if she's dreaming yet, and if so, is she dreaming of me? Is this love? obsession, attraction, lust, insanity? I can still see her face when I close my eyes, still taste her strawberry chapstick on my lips. I've fallen so hard for her, but I don't really want to get up, I like it here, head-over-heels on the floor. She left me before, I cried, I died, I tried to replace her , tried to move on. But I couldn't stop thinking about her, missing her. Hell I couldn't even blame her. ( this blog is taking too long to type out so i will fill the rest in later and ...fuck it no one reads this bullshit anyway so it doesnt matter)

old poem never before seen: To the One

I thought we were actually moving forward for once,
Since for months now, we've been standing still,
You've left me again already, before we could even get together,
Back to your own vomit, like a dog on the empty streets,
I held my hand out to you, opened wide my arms again,
So that you could spit in my face, and lie about your happiness,
There is no such thing as happy, in the place that you put yourself,
You beat the shit out of yourself emotionally, and you let him help,
All I know is that you are so much better than that,
But yet you still choose to settle for what's convenient,
I don't have forever to wait on you to grow up and realize,
But don't cry when you see my dust trail vanish into the horizon,
You've made this choice for both of us, besides, He makes you Happy,
I have full custody of my battered heart again, no visitation for you,
You had your chances, shot them all down, and now you will see,
That I am serious, and I don't have time for petty arguments,
I have a life, a family, and I don't need more stress from you,
I still love you, but your love has changed, you are different,
I want the old Tabi back, but I don't forsee that happening.

im sorry that you cant love me.

but im not sorry in a way. thank you for finally showing your true colors and how you really feel. i loved you from day one but i cant do this, you are different. you say "i hate change, change is bad" but YOU are the one who has changed, and for the worse I might add. I'm done trying, I'll take a break and disappear for a while, you won't even know I've gone, but did you really pay attention in the first place? did you ever call me unless you were on the way here and i asked you to call? nah, not so much. I can't do this anymore, at least not like this. I'm not a puppy, you can't drag me around through your shit. I'm happy that I can post your poem that i wrote so long ago but thought it would offend you, now i could honestly care less. " I love that you're my friend, but hate that you're my girlfriend..." ring any bells? thought not. oh well you can post a blog and so can i. sorry. well not really.
~Me~

TWLOHA

To Write Love On Her Arms, or TWLOHA is a great cause and i support it. it started as a suicide prevention program because people said that suicide was not preventable, we're here to prove them wrong.

"i hate people that talk about people when they don't even know them......" -fuckin hypocrite

I'm going to make up a poem now, off the top of my head.



Do you see me happy? can't you tell it's real?
Why do you still rip me away, you're not what I feel,
Just let me go, you said it's over, just like I did,
But unlike me, you didn't really mean it,
You say when I hurt, I run back to you,
And I have before, but now I'm through,
I'm having a nice life here, and you wanna bring up bullshit,
I hate people who talk about me, you fucking hypocrite,
Don't you see when I get upset when I talk about her?
And when someone talks about you, I don't really mind,
Do you see the difference? Between you and her?
It's not that I don't like you, you're a funny person to be around,
But I love her, and they shit you say just brings me down,
So sit tight and shut up, put a fake smile on your face,
It wouldn't take much to bring down this place.



(don't try and guess who it's referring to)
(I'll Keel Joo)

wow it's been too long

It's been almost a month since I have been here and rambled for you peoples. Like a pack of dogs at the back of a butcher's, you wait for scraps and tidbits of juicy "meat" lol thats funny. nevermind that analogy, I'm back! Oh my god i had fun yesterday! Tabatha called me and asked if I was doing anything, of course I wasn't , so she said she would come over and hang out :D. damnit. i forget what "memorable moment " we were gonna put on here and what # it was lol. oh well she doesnt remember either, i'll make a new post later today i guess and have all my memorable moments collection :)). omg I had a Breakfast Bowl yesterday before the football game (which we won 48-13) with some ranch and oh my yummm. anyway im outta here, i'll be back later
~TriggleStick~