it's all too much..I cant feel my lungs....collapse

theme for the moment, Close your eyes- Song For The Broken. sing it with me if you know it, if not oh well. i love it . i should be breaking down right now bawling, because my life is repulsive even to me. i have great friends and great music flowing through it though, so somehow i am bright and chipper for a few seconds.
She's my ride home- Blue October. I miss talking/stalking to Dark.
I feel like i only come here when i need to express myself deeply and not let anyone know it. because who really ever comes here anymore?
*Only my real friends , thats who.
I don't tell my fake friends about this site/page/blog.
I feel alot of comfort in the most negative of things and situations sometimes.
like crying at a wedding, laughing to yourself when you know you're still last in line.
"i set fire to everyone around.....and i told you we'd do it, yeah we won!!"