this is ghey as fuck.

im at brandons using his peice of shit laptop, actually laptop is nice, internet is shit.
but yea i got a new truck, new to me that is.
a black s-10 thats automatic and no power steering, no cd player.
oh well i'll live for a while with just the radio and a few cassets that my mom gave me.
cayley came up the other day and hung out. idk i feel bad for everything that happened but i dont know what i want in life.
she wants me, i can feel it and see it in her eyes , but i dont think i can give her all of me, i want to live free and unchained like a wild beast, untethered and mobile. idk i guess im just a dirty slut and i like sex too much to just be with one person, im not trying to settle down soon, if ever. p.s. brandon is a queer.
i can't really be committed to anyone if my heart is with another either. i'm never going to get over her, i can see that. sometimes i wish i could, but sometimes its the only way i can tell that i'm still alive. pain drives me.
i just wish that scars faded faster.
wow i went from happy to depressed to just plain ol cynical. wtf yo.
brandon wants to drive his ass all the way to fuckin calera from Vallo to get a god damn ice cream cone, what is that shit about?
i fucking hate fakes, frauds, losers and pussies. if u cant man up and be real about shit then stay the fuck out of my way or i'll run your weak ass over.
fuck fuck fuckitty-fuck-fuck
i need to relax. Tabi, can i have some candy?

somone save me, if u can...

so yea here i am again, drifting alone on this empty sea of nothingness. yep single again, and this time i think i should stay that way. i've looked for love in so many places, so many different faces, but they all lead back to that One road that I'm scared to travel down, that dead end street that leads to nothing. Yet it looks so promising as i drive by slowly and pull into the drive, get out of the car and walk to the front door. Three sharp knocks. The door creaks open and there she is, beaming at me like christmas morning. and i walk inside, the house is empty, she is just my imagination playing tricks on me again. i sit alone on the couch and drown myself in my tears. then wake up and start again. "these scars remind me, of what we used to be, and what will never come again"

The road less traveled , they say is more difficult, yet it is the best road to take . because it take you somewhere with purpose in the end. well fuck this road. I'm tired of getting flats, the engine blowing up, my fucking car is falling apart, and i've been pulled over countless times for having no brake lights. I'm about to have to start walking this "less traveled road"

Will someone give me a ride?

I'm rambling incoherrently right now because i havent even seen a computer in months it feels like.
last night i had an extremely weak moment in my life and broke down crying in the shower, unable to stop.
then i decided to play some tic-tac-toe on my arm with a knife.
no no, dont be upset, I won the game?
yea i know, stupidity at its finest.
thats me. I tell all my friends these things, give them all this good advice on life, love and shit, but i cant take any of it for myself. I know im stupid ashley. i know this. i hate myself right now and i dont know how im going to pull through this one. my whole world is crashing around me and i dont know if i'll make it out of this one alive. I love you all and i miss you guys, my true friends.
No, I'm not going to kill myself. I'm not that far gone.
even though I'm already dying inside.
keep texting and calling me (after nine please) and Imming me on yahoo.its all that i really have to keep me sane.
peace
love
you know the rest
~TriggleStick~

morning ramblings

something I'm good at.



So yea, to reitterate what Tabi said in her blog, we at work have our own little clique , The Three Musketeers. it's funny, like no matter where we are in the store we always seem to run into one another totally by accident sometimes. but me and Peaches were working on an asile together and my manager came up and told her to work on another asile. then another day i was in the meat room with Tabi asking her a question, and David walked up and told me to go somewhere. they are seriously trying to split us up. but then yesterday, none of us were working together , and i had to go back to the baler, so im walkin back and as soon as i turn the corner, there's Peaches. so me and her laugh about us always bein in the same spot, and we stop laughin for a sec cuz we heard a rattly cart heading towards us and we both poked our heads around the corner, it was Tabi comin, with a cartload of boxes.lol they may try to split us up but this clique is indestructable.


Ok more news from the mind of a lunatic. Monday I will be signing my lease for my brand new apartmet, ( for those of you that i told about the trailer, my credit sucks.) some people may say that i put shit on here thats too personal. well i dont give a fuck. if my ass started itching right now, i would blog about how i scratched it so hard that i fell out of the chair and tripped my grandma. speaking of which, it's my off day and they are making me go with them to the river which is like an hour away and i was planning on going with my grandma to shop for stuff for the apartment and sleep today. fuck this sucks

wow, was i really this bad? ( old post reposted)

I feel so alone. I want to be loved by someone beautiful. I sit in the middle of a crowd, and still

I feel like I'm the only one there, watching everyone else walk by, hand in hand, making out

laughing with each other without a care in the world. I sit in my room and write, crying

occasionally thinking to myself, why can't I be like them, happy and carefree, with a girl in my

arms. I need someone to talk to, to tell all my secrets and jokes to. Someone that I can pour

affection and love on. Someone that could come to me with any problems and cry on my

shoulder, someone I could take out to the movies. If I ever talk to a girl they always say that

they like me, but, and there's always the "but", they have to find some excuse to push me away

from them into a "he's just a friend, never anything more" category. Have you ever felt like you

don't belong? No, of course not. Even if you have, it was never for long or as painful as what I go

through every hour of every day. If I died today, you would not come to my funeral.

Something more important would come up or you would have some excuse. Even if you did

come you would forget that I existed before the next week. I think that the only people that

care are certain family members and my real, true friends

I lay in my bed and think of YOU again, the one, the exception to the rule, to my life. You are always in my dreams, filling my head with a fantasy, a dream that can never happen. What can I do, sitting here wasting my time away? Are you just fucking with my head? How could someone like you, want someone like me?

haha as u can tell, i need points on socialvibe

look how many fucking adds i have on this bytch. thats insane, even for me.
God I'm bored , i don't go to work until fuckin 4 this afternoon. then i get off at 8.
4 lame ass hours. but hey money is money.
I should have changed my contacts last night. FUCK
i have a piss test today, and i dunno if ima pass it or what. lol im not going into that one.
OMG tomorrow is saturdayy =]
im so fuckin excited man, u have no idea. oh and i talked to this dude named Justin at walmart and i might be able to move in with him and his baby momma XD lol .
hopefully i wil be able to . he's chill as fuck, an i need somewhere to go besides here.
i miss cayley, she's in college right now but hopefully she'll read this later and call me like.....i dunno around 2?
Peace Love And Foodstamps y'all
~ATriggleStick~

why must i keep typing???

because i don't go to work til One . and it's 8:30. my grandma is strange.
she's saying that i shouldn't date Cayley because i spend too much money. and it's my money. she's saying that i need to find a house first, which isnt my MAIN prioroty . i want a car first, cuz u cant drive ur house, but you can sleep in your car.
fuck this place. i need out ASAP.
anyone with a car for sale hit me up as soon
as u can. just leave a comment on here.
I just want to see her again.
g-maw said : why can't you just be content with talking to her? why do u have to see her?
i thought to myself : why wouldn't i wanna see her? A) she's my gf, B) i love her yo. C) shut tha fuck up grammaw.
i like cheesecake.

American Badass. Kid rock isn't one.

But i really like this song haha.
It makes me wish i had longer hair so i could headbang harder, and then i'd need a motorcycle...and a midget dude like kid rock had.
that's too much work fer real. -changes music-
Atreyu- The Crimson :D
now this song gives me chills, it's perfect in every way, so i don't have to act like them to make it better.
i dunno man, i have to work 1-10pm tonight and i really dislike that place.
I saw Tabi at work, ( shocked gasp from stalkers) no no really, calm down people,
She is nice and sweet to me, and we are cool with being just friends.
lol in fact, she said " I saw you're girlfriend, i think she's really cute" and that made me happy.
then she said " ohhh THATS where you got those hickeys! " lol i just blushed .
The One That Got Away lmfao, thinks my gf is cute. ily Cayley :D
but yea we went and ate lunch at mcdonalds and it's sooo cool that she can still be in my life without me or her worrying about getting back together. I'm done chasing her down, and she's done running i guess. we both see that our efforts are fruitless. (plus Cayley frickin rawks my socks :P )
zomg i cant wait til saturday!
Cayley is coming back up here to see me , and i get to drive her car! -dances- i LOVE driving other people's cars lol. I drove brandon's the other day and it was fun, he has SUCH nice brakes , its insane. Don is in a bitchy fuckin mood this morning. but screw him , he can go to hell. i'm posting an upbeat, happy blog today.
i think i wanna dye my hair, then chop some of it off. what color should i use?
oh and ty tabi for that candy :D yesterday. i slept SO good last night, i came home at like 7:00 and passed out til like 7 this morning, it was crazy.
ok i has no more things to type. I'm losted.
OMG at mcdonalds this stupid bubbly cheerleader type chick came in and was staring at like a management chart, with people's pictures on it and i overheard her say " see theres Obama, Palin...and McCain!" "harharharhar hu hu hu" (she had a ridiculously annoying laugh" then her and her 2 friends went to the bathroom. and me and Tabi started ROLLING . then 2 of the girls came out of the bathroom and the last one came out an she was smiling, and she ran SLAP into the door, and tried to pull it off like she didnt even hit anything . HAHAHA we laughed so hard at that stupid chick. it made my day.


~TriggleStick~

lol look over there >>>> I'm following myself

Zomg!

this weekend was tha BOMB!
( like tick...tick.)
ok so we got there , cheapass mexican hotel. cracks in the walls, penis stains on the ceiling (i'll explain later)
I'm going to add fucking pictures on here haha.
Random phrases heard throughout this weekend:
"what? a black woman can't be born on H? ohhh, just cuz i'm BLACK, i cant makeout with a sandwich? "
"omg WHYYYY Dr THUNDERrr? Why not Twist Up ? "
BOB SAGET!
ohhhh my god, then we went to this "peanut festival" thing, which was amazingg !! there were so many cool rides, ok not that many, but they were all pretty decent rides. ( i wanna go on the airplanes :( )
there was this one ride that me and Brando rode first, i forget the name, but we had gotten 4 al day bands that let us have unliminited rides throughout the thingy.
s we get back to the fist ride we rode, to ride it again before we had to leave that night, and the dude sees our bands, and says that we cant use those anymore. omg i was pissed. ew i burped and it tasted like eggs.
i have a gf now :P
she makes me smile, lol and im not saying much more than that, because i know how anticipating this must be.
(look out for my next blog ;) )
~TriggleStick~

i feel sick

so yea today is friday, the big day, im goin on a road trip with Brando and he's bringing Brandon and this whole thing is gonna be superamazing.
and yes.
that is a word.
look it up, while your at it, look up "herpes" and look at your mom's picture.
ok im done ranting and bitching, i feel real sick this morning and i dunno why .
I'm trying to think what all i ate yesterday. I didnt get to eat that taco bell that tabi bought me (thanks though)
i ate alot of that shrimp , well the rest of it , last night.
but i had the liqui-shits this morning and my stomach is killin me. and i changed my schedule. dude
this sucks. and now i get to go to work for 7 hours. then after work i get to ride in the backseat of a car while 2 gay boys makeout in the frontseat.
dude I'm soo sleepin on the way there.
-yawn- ima go back to bed til 6:30. gnight bitches.
oh another lil sidenote
not naming names .
but if u call the House, which no one really does anymore since i have a cellphone, but i hate the housephone, i've told ALL my friends this. and i don't like talking on it. if im in service, and you call me, i will answer. if not then ur pretty much fucked until i call YOU. im in a great/pissed mood today. listen up kids, DON'T CALL THE HOUSE AFTER 9, (that would be 10 your time)
yea im goin to take my nap now.
~Bitchez

i dunno

if i like this new colorscheme but yea ima test it out like this and if i like it then i'll keep it. if not it's gettin thrown out.
comment me to let me know, yay or nay
~me~

so yea......(awkward silence)

idk I'm happy today.
I'm getting $1400 !
Yay me lol.
but this weekend is going to suck. she may be able to come up and see me, but only for like a few hours then turn right back around.
it's not really worth it, i mean hell yea i'd love to see her, but is it worth all that gas and $$ to come all the way here and then go home? i don't think so.
maybe next week i'll have a car, plus by next weekend i'll have gotten paid again.
God i love having a job :D!
even though walmart sucks hairy sweaty monkey balls.
( lol i forgot that my stalkers read this )
ima get hella comments.
no, i never do.
o well, im outie, i may post later today, fuck it if i dont.
~TriggleStick~

Forever and Always..

here i sit again, actually smiling for once. I have to go to work soon, but i know im going to get to talk to her today, so i'm fine.
i love my haters. because you are reading this, and wondering....and now u will go to my myspace or my yahoo and try and find out exactly who i am talking about. i don't care.
If u don't know already, then you weren't meant to know
If you are just stalking my blog .
thats cool.
don't hate, appreciate.
lol
I am so bored right now though, it isn't even funny, i have to go do some bullshit for my grammaw before work so yea.
i'll be back tonight.
love you guys, fuck you haters XD lol that sounds so black. and yea u know who u are :">
~TriggleStick~

i wish i could hate you.

i love you so hard right now i wish i could end this,
wish i was strong enough to see what's really going on,
but all i see is you, a perfect angel,
i've fallen, i'm fallin' fallin apart for you,
im driven, being driven over the edge,
but this time, i don't even mind,
i'm just going to fly....
into the abyss.
i wish i could hate you as much as ,
you don't love me,
wish i could dislike you ,
when you walk over me,
but i lay here as your welcome mat,
jump up and down, i won't mind that,
throw me around like your little rag doll.
i can't promise i'll get up from this fall...

this is how it really is.

" You wanna believe the most dumbest of lies even though deep down you know its all a scheme because you love them so much.you just don't wanna lose them.so you go along with the lie as long as you don't see it first hand.but really you're only just making it harder on yourself because you get deeper and deeper and when you do see the truth up front and you cant deny the lies anymore.its gonna hurt even worse
Because then you're soo in deep you'll be confronted and not care and continually be willingly played for a fool or.you'll deal with a break up...that'll shatter you as well.and deal with the fact of "Damn I fuckin knew,,,,Why didn't I just find the strength to fuckin leave?" "

gone. far.away

slide a barrel in my throat, pull the trigger nice and slow,
enter into another parallel universe, with no headlights,
tripping late into the night, yet all i want to do is fight,
it's not going to end up alright, tonight is the last night.
stand up, take another shot, c'mon be a man,
hold steady, mountain dew ready, i'll even hold your hand.
take it all, dont be a bitch, chase it fast,
drink it all and make yourself numb again,
you'll never remember my name after tomorrow.

i wish...

i wish things could be the same,
wish i could tell you things, in person,
that i can tell you on here with such ease,
wish you would hold me again, acknowledge my presence,
i was there, but i felt all alone,
smoke til you choke,
drink so you won't think,
about anything til tomorrow,
is it real, is it real,
i can't even feel, you right beside me.
i want to die.

BOB SAGET!!!! ASS ASS ASSS!!!!!

PORN- it's cheaper than dating! ;)

god i feel like shit now.

i feel like im being Her now. checking Her blog, watching her youtube. missing Her voice. i feel sick to my stomach, im getting hot all over like a fever you can't sweat out.
I'm crying again. no one sees this side of me anymore.
I thought she was gone, not caring about me.
sometimes i think it'd be better if she stayed there.
i need to live. i feel dead inside though
.
that period shoulda been with the scentance
i suck at spelling and idc right now.
i wish i was near her right now. not with. near.
cuz i don't think i could show my face around her. but i would like to see her
like in beauty and the beast, the mirror?
yea i just want to see if she is really happy.
i want to die as of yesterday.
im getting kicked out but all i feel like is -shrug- i dont feel.

"keep the blood in your head, keep your feet on the ground"

i love this song. there are just a handful of people who will know it just from that line. i kinda miss her. but i can't tell her these things.
kinda sucks don'it?
the song is practically blaring through my headphones now. dude i didn't know u could do spell check on the blogger lol. i thought it was just in like word or something.
anyway. i Was planning on moving to Dothan AL.
now i have decided to move into my Grandma's house in Calera AL. i am really excited because I'm VERY positive that I'll get the job at walmart, all I'm waiting on is my drug screen and bg check to come back. then I should be starting this Monday. I really hope that everything will work out
at the same time though, i want to lay down and die.
I don't feel anything, im tired, i feel alone and empty.
I want to cry so hard that i just float away in my tears.
I hurt too many people and now it hurts me to think about it.
I have 2 cigarettes left, and it's only 11:43 am.
i have zero dollars.
and ima have this delilah song stuck in my head all day. FUCK
god
i still miss her.
I know it's wrong, but it's never gonna end. grrr

great now I'm crying again. fuck this all of it.

i need some nice heavy metal thrash type sound to rip my ears off for a while. gah. a few people called last night but i didnt even want to talk to anyone. GOD FUCK SHIT BOBSAGET!
I wish i could go back in time . but then if i did, nothing would be as it is.
i dont know what i wish or want or need anymore. i thought that getting a job would make me so happy, and it did, for like 5 minutes. i finally got my liscense and that made me excited for almost a day. but no car means i cant go anywhere at all really. and why am i spending so much time with brandon you people ask? because he is still a very good friend of mine and is fun to hang with and easy to talk to and he actually helps me with my problems and listens, and i try to help him through his issues and problems. so if u wanna talk shit, do it somewhere else.

=]
~TriggleStick~

blah . mornings are decent sometimes.

I'm going to do something today, but the last time i posted a blog about it , it didn't work out so well for me. so now i will just wait til it is over to talk about it on here.
I need a haircut kinda alot. I love my contacts but they hate my eyes, they won't go fucking in there@@! Anyway , I got the new Dark Knight soundtrack, courtesy of Walmart. It is awesome. u should totally steal it like i did, errr go buy it.
I don't steal.
Stealing is for losers HA! ok ima loser. but you can't be a stupid loser or you will be like i did and end up in jail, which sucks. trust me .
If you are going to break in somewhere, here are some things NEVER to do:
1 . DON'T break in during the day, theres this thing called the SUN and it gives off light and makes people able to see you.
2 . DO wear dark clothing and gloves. Fingerprints are a great find for the cops.
3 . DON'T leave shit looking a mess, kinda know what you're going for before you go so that you can get IT, get in and GTFO.
4. OMG make SURE that NO one is home. GOD it REALLY REALLY sucks to hop through a window and have someone walk inside saying "i thought i saw something move in here" so you have to dive back out the window and hop across three diffrent fences into your own backyard, change clothes and lay panting in your bed, wondering if they saw you or not.
I think that's pretty much it, if anyone thinks of anything, leave it in a comment and i will add it HAHAHAHA
~TriggleStick~

i feel diffrent.

am i floating alone in this world? I see three distinct figures on the shore, all offering their hands to me, but i shake my head and float on, drifting into the sea of uncertainty . i miss the feel of being happy, i was happy a few times, but is it worth being happy for maybe a few days out of a month or two, cuz thats all it really lasted. i wanted it to go on but it just didnt work. and old faces reappear unexpectedly. of course i miss you, but why now? god this life is too hard to live sometimes. why so serious? let's put a smile on your face...

new contacts. randomness

So I got new contacts yesterday and they told me at walmart, when i got my eyes checked, they told me like seven times NOT to sleep in the new contacts . and here i sit, this morning, rubbing my eyes like a bitch because they itch HAHA. oh well, i shoulda listened, or went to bed earlier or not stayed on the phone so late. i dunno idc they dont hurt too bad, i might take em out tonight haha.



I wish people would read this without me having to ask them if thye have read it or not. Dark used to read mine all the time and i hers. kj has too much of a blog to read and its all about fob and it kinda gets old , not much about her. sarah doesnt update hers anymore she said. and ashleys, i dunno what is on hers anymore.

So i missed a piss test the other week and they sent me a letter that said i had to meet with them within like 7 days before the letter even got to my house or they would take me back to jail. so everyone keep me in your thoughts today when i go up there, i've already had too much jail time.
No one is ever going to read this unless i send a message on yahoo or something. i wish that shooting stars worked. i have wished on three seperate shooting stars this month alone and it not only didnt work, it went the totally opposite direction. I don't have a heart anymore. so take what u can get out of my friendship, thats all thats left of me.


Love Always
~TriggleStick~

Notebook Entry.

Dear Notebook, It's me again. I'm in love, deep deep love. The kind that when your eyes meet you can just tell, the way she holds my hand. When she kisses me fireworks explode in my mind, my eyes roll back and my palms get sweaty. As soon as her car starts and pulls out of the drive, my eyes water, and I miss her all over again. She is always on my mind and I'm always telling someone how much I miss her. I'm crying now, just wondering if she's dreaming yet, and if so, is she dreaming of me? Is this love? obsession, attraction, lust, insanity? I can still see her face when I close my eyes, still taste her strawberry chapstick on my lips. I've fallen so hard for her, but I don't really want to get up, I like it here, head-over-heels on the floor. She left me before, I cried, I died, I tried to replace her , tried to move on. But I couldn't stop thinking about her, missing her. Hell I couldn't even blame her. ( this blog is taking too long to type out so i will fill the rest in later and ...fuck it no one reads this bullshit anyway so it doesnt matter)

old poem never before seen: To the One

I thought we were actually moving forward for once,
Since for months now, we've been standing still,
You've left me again already, before we could even get together,
Back to your own vomit, like a dog on the empty streets,
I held my hand out to you, opened wide my arms again,
So that you could spit in my face, and lie about your happiness,
There is no such thing as happy, in the place that you put yourself,
You beat the shit out of yourself emotionally, and you let him help,
All I know is that you are so much better than that,
But yet you still choose to settle for what's convenient,
I don't have forever to wait on you to grow up and realize,
But don't cry when you see my dust trail vanish into the horizon,
You've made this choice for both of us, besides, He makes you Happy,
I have full custody of my battered heart again, no visitation for you,
You had your chances, shot them all down, and now you will see,
That I am serious, and I don't have time for petty arguments,
I have a life, a family, and I don't need more stress from you,
I still love you, but your love has changed, you are different,
I want the old Tabi back, but I don't forsee that happening.

im sorry that you cant love me.

but im not sorry in a way. thank you for finally showing your true colors and how you really feel. i loved you from day one but i cant do this, you are different. you say "i hate change, change is bad" but YOU are the one who has changed, and for the worse I might add. I'm done trying, I'll take a break and disappear for a while, you won't even know I've gone, but did you really pay attention in the first place? did you ever call me unless you were on the way here and i asked you to call? nah, not so much. I can't do this anymore, at least not like this. I'm not a puppy, you can't drag me around through your shit. I'm happy that I can post your poem that i wrote so long ago but thought it would offend you, now i could honestly care less. " I love that you're my friend, but hate that you're my girlfriend..." ring any bells? thought not. oh well you can post a blog and so can i. sorry. well not really.
~Me~

TWLOHA

To Write Love On Her Arms, or TWLOHA is a great cause and i support it. it started as a suicide prevention program because people said that suicide was not preventable, we're here to prove them wrong.

"i hate people that talk about people when they don't even know them......" -fuckin hypocrite

I'm going to make up a poem now, off the top of my head.



Do you see me happy? can't you tell it's real?
Why do you still rip me away, you're not what I feel,
Just let me go, you said it's over, just like I did,
But unlike me, you didn't really mean it,
You say when I hurt, I run back to you,
And I have before, but now I'm through,
I'm having a nice life here, and you wanna bring up bullshit,
I hate people who talk about me, you fucking hypocrite,
Don't you see when I get upset when I talk about her?
And when someone talks about you, I don't really mind,
Do you see the difference? Between you and her?
It's not that I don't like you, you're a funny person to be around,
But I love her, and they shit you say just brings me down,
So sit tight and shut up, put a fake smile on your face,
It wouldn't take much to bring down this place.



(don't try and guess who it's referring to)
(I'll Keel Joo)

wow it's been too long

It's been almost a month since I have been here and rambled for you peoples. Like a pack of dogs at the back of a butcher's, you wait for scraps and tidbits of juicy "meat" lol thats funny. nevermind that analogy, I'm back! Oh my god i had fun yesterday! Tabatha called me and asked if I was doing anything, of course I wasn't , so she said she would come over and hang out :D. damnit. i forget what "memorable moment " we were gonna put on here and what # it was lol. oh well she doesnt remember either, i'll make a new post later today i guess and have all my memorable moments collection :)). omg I had a Breakfast Bowl yesterday before the football game (which we won 48-13) with some ranch and oh my yummm. anyway im outta here, i'll be back later
~TriggleStick~

Her. Nothing else.

Arrayed lines down my face, where my tears have fallen,
How could I ever go on without you, without me,
This time will be different, I can feel it, it's close,
Already I worry for our closeness, that it will be stronger now,
But time will only tell, what is in our future together,
At times I question, things that I should not,
The bed you laid in is made up on your side, so come back baby...

NEW POEMMZZ!

Sometimes I realize, this place inside my mind,
Where I long to run away to, to be alone and calmed,
Releasing, relaxing, resounding, Free.
Just to get away once more, feel the sand on the shore,
The sweet escape of solitude, unbroken by any sound,
Be back soon I say, to anyone near, I'm not lost, don't want to be found,
Please do not disturb, "escucha a la sondia todo ladas" ,
The smoke wafts around the room, escaping from my lungs,
Leaving the musty fragrance upon more than just my tongue.

Today is getting Brighter.......

well today is Wednesday, August 6th, my dear ol Dad's 51st birthday. good grief! but he doesn't look it at all. the adults in my family have been known to age gracefully. And Dad is living proof of that. I missed being around him, Robin (mom) and my 2 sisters. life is going pretty well so far. ugh i have to go to court next week, but I will just be going to get my lawyer, i doubt there will be a trial this early on in the case.
I'm fuckin tired as hell man. I slept all night, but I'm still tired. I have been writing alot of poetry lately and I'm thinking about putting one or two on here in my next blog. I miss all my friends out there. hmm i think thats gonna be it for now, maybe more later... I dunno.



no one even reads this shit anymore?? lol o well.

*TriggleStick*

well this will be short and sweet, im out, living at my dad's and " getting better". I messed up, got caught, whatever you want to call it, but now I'm turning my life around and we are going to make it all work out. to all my dedicated friends that called, or at least tried to get in touch with me, Thank You dearly, you guys mean alot to me. I wont be online much anymore and this Blog and myspace will be the only way to talk to me for a while, til I get a place of my own. Again, thanks guys for having my back even when I screw up, Love Ya!
The One
The Only
Cody
Aka
*TriggleStick*

I really needed to talk to you today. but like always, i hold things back that i will never talk about with you again. not because i don't care, because I miss every single second i spent with you, even when you had me in tears. i don't know why i still have dreams, i can't seem to let them die tho. God I miss you, there is nothing that can fucking fill this hole. I'm sorry to rant like this, friends, family, whoever reads this that actually cares .....

Tabatha: When You're Gone. (It Sucks)




But i am staying up late for the wrong reasons, missing you in the improper context. I still cant get you out of my head. I have tried to maybe once, but you are worth too much to me to just get rid of like u were nothing. and for some reason, tho i am coping with what i can get, i LOATHE just being your friend, i need to be the one you come home to again, the one who is waiting to wrap his arms around you and never let you go. to make you smile like the old days. the girl i want to wear my hoodies. GOD! u know how much you mean to me, still do, always have. i hate that i love you as I do sometimes, but what can i say. im never going to forget you. and....god...I'm sorry Tabi ....
I
Love
You
With All My Heart...
Forever
&
Always....
~fuckin trigglefuck~

numa numa!! "maria Ha Ha!!""

ok everyone knows the whole "Numa Numa Guy" and his videos on youtube...well this is my

rebuttal to his whole madness...this is me, "trying " to make my own version. notice how much i
can't stop fucking laughing?

Numa Numa Remake-a :



Yea this is what happens when u do stupid things, like smoke pot when ur pregnant = Me ! (jk

mom, its for the humor effect) eh it's Ok, she wont read this. lol good luck to you people who

actually sit through this video ! u officially have FREE TIME OUT YOUR ASS!!!! ~do tha

dance~

~TriggleStick Out~

L33t H@ck34zz haha!

yea. this is them, you hear about them all the time, "i was typing my email to Aunt Pam and POOF, my computer was gone, wouldnt even turn on!" hahaha "my account wont login" "it says thats not the right password" "where did my voice go???" "ahh! i can' get ears in rooms" these are commonly heard after these guys breeze through a chat room.these are the men behind the green curtains, the power so to speak, behind the throne.


The Hackerz:

Yah Trick YAHHHH! (hermafagurgle )

This is Bobby. My best friend in the world. We were in the army together and even now that we are out, on our own, living in seperate states and it has been 2 years since we were roommates, we still talk almost every day on the phone or whatever. We were roomies for almost 8 months, and we met about 2 months before we were roommates. So yea, we go back, alot of fucked up nights and fucked up days, hard times an hard knocks. But also lol alot of hard liquor.
Bobby's really been there for me all the time, whether it seems like it or not, beating me up just enough to show me what im doing wrong, verbally or physically, he knows what he is doing.
We have each seen each other at our worst, and we are close as brothers.




No Homo! I Love Ya Bobby!!!

Sandi......fuck me with your sexy phone....XD

This is Sandi, and her 2 crazy kiddies Nando n Blaze. She is a good friend of mine and is always there if i need someone to talk to or to yell at, she also comes to me alot if she has an issue or needs help cussing someone out :P. Sandi, just cuz u bitched SOOOO MUCH (hehe jk) here's ur fuckin video, ENJOY!!! you earned it ;)



hahahahahahaha
I hope you like it Sandi!
blah blah blah
Filler filler, space taker uppers
i really dont know what to say ?

Um i cant think of an interesting title (RAMBLE!!!!!)

so yea this morning i woke up with the FULL intention of getting my drivers license (WHAT??? little Cody doesn't have a license?!!?) nope just never got it. fuck o well. so i wake up cuz my mom is coming over to take me to experience the test, its like 11AM when i wake up and im waiting and waiting, then Linda called, for strange reasons, as usual, (the girl keeps a ladder in her pocket) so yea while i was on the phone with her, my mom calls and left a message because we dont have CALL FUCKING WAITING, oh im sorry was that out loud? muh bayd. anywho. she says she's gonna be late.


UGH!
so she finally gets here, and i hop in the drivers seat of my grandaddy's Buick, BEAST. and no Buick does not make a car called a BEAST, thats just what i call it, for ironic purposes (it eats things) anyway.
so i pop in a cd which didnt work. so we listened to rap just to make my mom feel weird. and we get HALFWAY there and im jokin around with her, "hey i cant buy cigs, i dont have my ID on me" and she says "WHAT?" u need SOME form of identification to get your license UGH u goober! " so i explain that i accidently left it in Ashley's car last time i saw her and GOD THIS SUCKS!@ i was SO ready to be driving! and no ashley im not blaming you, but just think about how bad this would suck if u were as pumped as i am right now!

So yea Ashley is sending my ID in the mail, maybe in a week i will be driving! woot woot -dances-

buuuuuut i doubt it ;)

OH and my mom gave my $5 for ciggs today, cuz she is freakin awesome!! and i have no ID so i hope they dont card me! but ima go grab my ipod and run to the store while i smoke my last cig and break it down to some crazy dance music as i walk to the store.
BE BACK ON HERE LATER for new updates in my BORRRING life XD
~TriggleStick~

this is my video, I made it, no one else, i picked the pics, put them in the order i wanted then added the effects and the colors and the music! i love all u guys in this vid! ty for being MY FRIENDS!!!!! im going to post another blog after this vid loads because im just so stoked to see it on here :D!!!!!!

mmm egg sandwich!

so today i woke up and decided to eat a Breakfast Bowl, whats that u say? Well its a delish blend of either sausage, ham or bacon with eggs and cheese that u throw in the microwave and its fuckin great!
but i have my own way of eating them, i take and add ranch or BBQ to it, mix it around, then put it on a hotdog bun OMFG it was so good oOo -bounces to Panic!'s song on my video - haha i fuckin love it! god im so random, i doubt anyone really even reads this thingy besides maybe Kj and ashley, lol n Pete. u fucker. hmm what else to ramble about? oh! Vanilla Coke goes GREAT with those eggmiches as i shall now dub them. ugh go out and try them!
also...Jimmy...u should give me a lil $$ for advertising your wonderful tasty products ;)


cuz i put alot of time and effort into this blog haha! whatever. i need to go do something that involves my mp3 player and music cranked to full blast! but i cant think of anything so i might just take a nap. wish i had long distance, god people are going to read this and NEVER come back
wow phone ringing was loud, and yes its ashley of course! HA! lol (pete i totally stole that from you bro )

this is the most amazing video made so far to date ! it was sposed to be made by me, but im dumb and cunt finger shit out (ha!) so yea Kj strikes again and made me another awesome vid this time featuring my AWESOME friends!! note, if u are not in this vid and u know ur a good friend of mine, then either A) i couldnt find a pic of you fast or B) i really dont like you, nah jk jk haha i love all my friends!! and im sorry again for people that arent in it, but as soon as i figure out how to make one i will put every fucking one of my friends in it :P


~triggles~

oh yes, i did forget to mention Kj, my most awesome friend in the world also has a blogspot and it fucking ROCKS! http://raz0rblad3.blogspot.com and my friend Petey as well -hehe- but yea ima keep his secret, HA! cuz thats how i roll b1tch3z! Kj effing rocks my damn socks off!! lol new blogness = awesome! (also Kj has a vid of me in her blog...go find it)


LOL... awww Cody :X
Here.. is your video! BTW ^^ I hate that pic of me.. lol

my life thus far..

so yea i JUST signed up for this site thanks to my great friend Kj, ugh i hate this font better? no yay there we go! ok anyway here we go! i dont really even know what to put here at all. im 20 years old, live in bumfuck nowhere Alabama and i love having close friends that stick up for me and help me when im down. this is really so unlike my myspace but im starting to like it. umm I wish I could find a decent girl that isn't a total bitch. but we all have dreams don't we? lol i'll get back on here later tonight ~dueces~